I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
