I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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