They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
