We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
My vagina just clenched in fear
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
