I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
