never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
