it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
