Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I could fuck to npr.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
