is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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