dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
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