It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
