I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
and you said cock pushups were impossible
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
