At least make sure they are 18
Why
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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