I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
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