brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
