watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Mom said you looked used
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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