My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
