well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Houston, we have a blender
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
