He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Alive.
So much puke
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
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