Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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