Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
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Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
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Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize