So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
