Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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