I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
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When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
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I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
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