It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
