i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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