I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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