Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
