I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
