Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
