WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
