I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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