Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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