I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
