The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
