I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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