first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
