whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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