these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I have fence marks all over my body
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Randomize
