maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Randomize
