i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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