I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
