when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
