batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
