We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
