Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
