last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
