PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
