You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
