does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
