K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
