...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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