she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
