Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
