I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
