Midget sex pt 2 tonight
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize