I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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