There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize