if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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