i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
