so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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