I hope mine doesn't look like that
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
