If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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