i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
