so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
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Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
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You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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