Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
