she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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