alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
It's shark week go big or go home
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
